SOLD OUT
Kyle's arm is tired
Original Tug
$12Salt, pepper, patience. The one Kyle pulls in his sleep.
🌶OUT —
★ EST. 2024 · SMALL BATCH ★
HAND-PULLED
BEEF JERKY
Kyle's been jerkin' jerky since he could legally buy a smoker. Six flavors, zero shortcuts, and a frankly alarming amount of unsolicited smoking advice. Move your mouse. He's busy.
↑ psst — wiggle your mouse. trust me.
HELLO I'M BRET
bret, repeat customer #4 — pictured here, mid-bliss
LIVE FOOTAGE
100%
JERKED
JERKED
CHEWY · SMOKY · DRY-RUBBED · HAND-MASSAGED · JERKED WITH LOVE ·CHEWY · SMOKY · DRY-RUBBED · HAND-MASSAGED · JERKED WITH LOVE ·CHEWY · SMOKY · DRY-RUBBED · HAND-MASSAGED · JERKED WITH LOVE ·CHEWY · SMOKY · DRY-RUBBED · HAND-MASSAGED · JERKED WITH LOVE ·CHEWY · SMOKY · DRY-RUBBED · HAND-MASSAGED · JERKED WITH LOVE ·CHEWY · SMOKY · DRY-RUBBED · HAND-MASSAGED · JERKED WITH LOVE ·
why bother with kyle's?
FOUR REASONS.
MAYBE FIVE.
✋
Hand-pulled
Every strip. By Kyle. The wrist is real.
🔥
Smoked slow
6+ hours over real wood. No liquid smoke. No shortcuts.
🐄
Brenda-approved
Our resident cow vets every batch. She's tough but fair.
📦
Shipped fast
Bagged warm. Out the door before Kyle eats it himself.
six flavors, one Kyle
THE LINEUP
SOLD OUT
Kyle's arm is tired
Sweet & Sticky
$14Brown sugar, bourbon, and a glaze that won't quit.
🌶🌶OUT —
SOLD OUT
Kyle's arm is tired
Ghost Yank
$16Ghost pepper. You will cry. Kyle will not apologize.
🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶OUT —
behind the smoker
HOW KYLE MAKES IT
A four-step process Kyle has refined over an entire year and a half. Do not try this at home. (Actually, do. Then read the wisdom page.)
01
Kyle stares at the meat
Long. Unblinking. The meat usually breaks first.
02
Brine, rub, judge
12 hours of salt, sugar, pepper, and some things Kyle won't disclose for legal reasons.
03
Smoke low. Smoke slow.
6 hours over hickory and applewood. Kyle paces. Brenda watches from across the yard, suspicious.
04
Hand pulled, bag sealed
Every strip pulled by Kyle's own wrist. Bagged warm. Shipped before he changes his mind.
what the people say
REAL HUMANS.
REAL JAW PAIN.
★★★★★
"Tried Ghost Yank on a dare. Lost a tooth. Bought another bag the next day. Kyle is a menace and a poet."
★★★★★
"My husband proposed to me over a bag of Sweet & Sticky. We're divorced now but I still buy the jerky. Worth it."
★★★★★
"Best dang jerky in 47 states (allegedly). I keep a bag in the glovebox for emergencies. The emergency is usually 'I'm hungry.'"
★★★★☆
"I would have given five stars but it made me question my vows of moderation. Praise be."
free with every visit
SMOKIN' WISDOM
Twelve commandments from a man who has set his own eyebrows on fire at least three documented times. No subscription. No paywall. Just Kyle, yelling at you (lovingly) about meat.
ALL 12 TIPS →TIP #1
Low and slow, like a first date
225°F is your friend. If you're poking it every five minutes, you're not smoking — you're babysitting. Set the temp, close the lid, walk away. The smoker knows what it's doing. You don't. Yet.
TIP #2
The stall is real, the stall is fine
Around 165°F your meat just stops. Internal temp won't budge for hours. This is evaporative cooling, not the smoker breaking. Wrap it in butcher paper (the Texas Crutch), finish your beer, trust the process.
TIP #3
Wood matters more than rub
Hickory for beef — bold, classic, doesn't quit. Apple for pork — sweet, mild, forgiving. Cherry for poultry. Mesquite if you hate your neighbors. Pecan if you're feeling fancy. Never, ever, pine. Pine is for arsonists.
TIP #4
Rest it. REST it. REST IT.
Pulling a brisket straight off the grill is a war crime. 45 minutes minimum, foil-tented, on the counter. An hour is better. The juices need to redistribute. Slice early and you'll watch your hard work pour out onto the cutting board, mocking you.
questions kyle is sick of answering
F.A.Q.
Is the jerky actually hand-pulled?+
Yes. By Kyle. With his hands. We've tried machines. Kyle hates machines. The machines are gone now.
Why is everything sold out?+
Because Kyle is one (1) man with two (2) smokers and four (4) hours of sleep. He's working on it. Allegedly.
Can I visit Brenda?+
No. Brenda does not do meet-and-greets. Brenda is a private cow.
Do you ship to Hawaii?+
We do not. Kyle has reasons. Kyle will not share his reasons. Please respect Kyle's reasons.
What's in Ghost Yank?+
Ghost peppers, regret, and a small handwritten apology from Kyle's mom.
alright, you've scrolled this far
QUIT READING.
START CHEWING.
Everything's sold out right now (Kyle is one man, two smokers, four hours of sleep). Get on the holler list and you'll be first to know when the next batch hits the cooler.